Tas: do you put your thyroxine in the fridge? Apparently it can lose its potency if not refridgerated (not...not freezer)
Dolly and butterfly dawn:
Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions. Yes, I have tried about 4 different anti-d's now. I do know they can be beneficial for giving your brain a break from irrationality, mood swings and so on. When I started using them, about eight years or so ago now, I was a right mess. Admittedly, had very recently divorced, etc but I had never at all really done much about depression prior to this time. I have had a long time now to learn what I can about it and am now far more aware of my thought processes, triggers and so on than back then. Anti-d's really did give me the opportunity to begin to confront and explore this, but now I know I am ready to 'deal' without them. I just needed to acknowledge 'out loud' as much to myself as to the forum, this 'disease' because ignoring it will just lead to my downfall more easily. I have seen psychiatrists and psychologists. I have not generally found a lot of help in these departments but out of the two, I definately prefer psychologists. I should add that I like reading books written by good psychologists...(Stephanie Dowrick, for instance.) It can be a very expensive journey, otherwise.
I have been thinking of the possibility of resuming some kind of counselling but more along the lines of life-coaching. There is just something about seeing psychologists and so on, that keeps one feeling 'sick', if they are seen in the capacity of 'oh god, Im all mixed up and I need help'.
What I know I need now is to set goals and meet them, realistically. Depression, overall, is a sense of loss of control in your life, a loss of a sense of self-efficacy and a resultant loss of self-esteem. Many more people (possibly women especially but that's just a biased hunch) suffer depression to more or less degrees and may not even be able to name it.
I am very grateful for all input. Hope I dont sound 'precious'. Just attempting to clarify things