new girl trying to get to the bottom of it all

[feebeejay]

hi everyone,
i've just discovered this forum and am hoping it will be something to help me get to the next phase. I watched this tv show the other night about an extreme weight loss where this american woman who was 456 pounds lost 201 pounds over the course of a year. Now she had a personal trainer/coach type dude and a nanny for a time to help her with her kids, but the short story is, that over 12 months she actually lost almost half her body weight. A few years ago I lost 20kg over the course of a year, but now i've put it all back on of course, but at that time I was eating healthier and exercising lots, i joined a cross country running club and did funs runs and stuff - even though i was amost always last I kept it up for a while until I got sick and stopped - henc eputting the weight back on - but that was just an excuse really - the real thing is that i'm a lazy bones, and i love the taste of food!
i have had weight issues all of my life and i'm trying to work it all out - the science and psychology behind it all, and whenever I analyse it I come up with all these amazing theories and reasons why it is what it is, but when it comes to actually doing something about it, it seems like i'm two different people, i can have all the theories in the world but putting them into practice is where i always come unstuck!!
I know though, that I have will power, to an extent because i've done stuff before and managed to keep it going for a while, but then i revert back to the way it's always been.
After I lost the 20kg in 2008/09, i felt so strong, that i could do anything, I was running, I was eating well, and I was living life - but then you know, you let your guard down a bit and it all gets a bit too difficult.
Somewhere in the years since I discovered a shop that sold the most amazing cream buns you have ever tasted in your life. I mean they were 'IT' - the bun so soft and squishy, and the cream so fresh and sweet, i could not help myself. I don't even know why I stopped in at this shop one day, because it really wasn't my usual route, but anyway, I did. Well the next week, I went back ... and again, and again, and again, before I knew it i'd stop in there a couple of times a week, and not only buy 1, but i'd buy 2 cream buns - and eat them both before I got to work, 1 because they were so yummy, and 2 because i was so embarrassed that i didn't want any of my work colleagues to see me eating them. I had this whole 'angel' vs 'devil' thing going on in myself - but the 'devil' side always won out! UNTIL about this time last year, and i stopped in at the shop to buy a cream bun (or 2) and a couple of times previously they hadn't been quite so fresh, or quite so squishy, but I persevered ... scoff them I did ... and this went on for a little bit, but after i'd had the same sort of experience about 3 or 4 times, i began to re-think my cream bun obsession and i decided i was not going to have a cream bun anymore. So I am almost up to my 1 year anniversary of not having a cream bun that it makes me realise that I CAN do this if i really put my mind to it. I mean, I was so addicted to those things, you would not believe it, ok, so theoretically i've probably replaced them with other yummy stuff, but the point is I was so totally addicted to those particular things I actually had a grieving period when I realised that I would never ever be able to have another one again.
SO... onward and upward as they say, and I can now talk about it all without too much embarrassment, but i'm pretty pelased with myself, enough so, that i've decided to embark on a journey to see what I can achieve when I set my mind to it.
Realisitically, according to the experts, I probably need to lose half my weight to be the right weight for my frame (i'm only 5 foot 1) which is only 59kg ... I don't ever remember being that weight, but I guess I was at some point on the way up ... maybe high school?? ok, so 2kg per year since high school doesn't sound unreasonable if it actually happened that way, but it didn't just creep on like that, i've been strugginling with it forever!
I've got a little bit of a plan, and have commenced on phase 1 of my journey - just 6kg, in 9 weeks - doesn't sound unreasonable - fairly steady I'd think given everything i already know, but i'm planning to do this as a scientific experiment and now i've posted on here, i need to be accountable to continue, oh, I hope I can do it ... please cross your fingers for me???!! the scales are telling me i've lost 1.5kg already, but they can't be right - Tuesday will be the official weigh in day as that's the day I started, but i'm thinking maybe my scales were crooked when I did the official reading on Tuesday - or maybe I'd just had lots of water to get rid of!! Because of that little event, i'm now looking into sodium quantities etc and as I am certain I have a salt addiction (and probably a sugar addiction too!!), i need to consider all of those factors before I stuff my face ... hmm, very tricky this weight loss thing, but I am determined to work it out ...
oh my goodness, this seems to have turned into war and peace, so perhaps i'll continue this next time ...

[weightyissue2012]

Welcome to the forum - you'll fit right in!

This place is great for encouragement and ideas... You seem to be putting your best foot forward and are off to a great start - I like your long piece, a lot of people (including myself) have been in your position and we're all trying to find a way out.

Can't wait to read your next piece.

AJ

[Retire_The_Fat]

So happy for you that your 'angel' side is dominating the 'devil' side

Good luck in your trip...seems like you're already off to a good start !

[feebeejay]

Hey thanks AJ, nice to know there are others out there like me ... So many people struggling with the same sorts of things, there's got to be a way out. I found this great app for my iPad that I can record all my food intake, weight, measurements, goals etc, and it adds everything up and tells you stuff you just wouldn't normally be bothered to work out, like the sodium intake ... I'm wondering if I have enough stamina to write a book about my journey, I always start out with all these ideas, but never get past the first few weeks ... But knowing that there are others out there with the same struggles motivates me to work out the science behind it all ... I feel like I am embarking on a journey of invention almost ... I have so much to say, I'm just a normal, ordinary person, dealing with the cards I was handed out, and till now I've been making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. I've begun to realize it doesn't matter what sort of past I've had, where I am right now is what I'm dealing with ... Just reading through everyone else's stories has given me so much motivation to search for the answer without needing to spend heaps of money on commercial type products, and to find a way that will allow me to live my life without feeling like I am depriving myself, but also to be realistic about what I can and can't eat, and what the consequences of my choices are ... Maybe the forum will be a good chance to explore my options and pin down that book idea ... Anyway, till next time, fj

[Weightgetlost]

Hi feebeejay,

Hoping all the best for your renewed weightloss journey.

The articles on this site on exercise are very good, especially the one that points out just how much exercise is needed to achieve weight loss. I have believed that I am lazy in the past but now I accept to myself that exercise is a big effort and I don't exactly love it but go ahead and do the scheduled exercise anyway.

Make a plan (food and exercise) and keep to it daily is my tip.

Weightgetlost

[feebeejay]

Oh boy, I've been avoiding coming back to this forum because I didn't want to face the fact that I seriously dropped the ball and have just been stuffing my face and eating more and more. My boss has been trying the Jenny Craig program, and from just observing what she has been eating for lunches and stuff, it has made me realize that I have been eating way too big portion sizes and I began to worry about how I would ever cut back without 'suffering' from hunger!!! Oh my goodnes, listen to me would you, as if I have anything to worry about really... Anyway, a couple of serendipitous events have happened in the past couple of weeks and have propelled me back to this forum, and I'm hoping that I can stick with it this time.
I bought a new calorie counter book, and resurrected my iPad app, and have been really thinking about portions etc, and also carbs vs protein ... So I have embarked on a journey and so far the result is,positive ... The scales are saying I've lost 2.2kg, but the size I am, I don't think I'll really believe I'm truly on my way until I've lost about 10kg!!! So here is what I'm doing:
Breakfast ... 2 x medium to large size apples, peeled, cored and cut into thin slices (sort of a substitute for chips, but sweet ones I guess) it takes ages to eat them and really not consuming heaps of calories. I've also been thinking about a specific program that talks about only eating fruit before midday. Although today I also had a muesli bar at morning snack time because I thought it would be a lower GI solution, and keep me going until lunch time. A combination of carb and protein for lunch, a yummy small dinner roll and some pre prepared roast pork 100g, eaten not as a sandwich but more like a meal with the bread on the side if you know what I mean ... Accompanied by a huge glass of ice water ...YUM!!!
Dinner was supposed to be protein only, trying to avoid carbs at dinner if possible, something that didn't quite work out for me tonight ... Noodles accompanied by chicken ... I went over my calories but about 250 cals, so have to scold myself there, but I didn't fudge the numbers, at least i wrote it down, which is what I've not done in the past ... So this time Trying to be realistic and true to myself ... And let's face it, two weeks ago I was probably eating way more then 2500 cals in a day, so to end up at 1750 today probably isn't such a nightmare really!!!

I've set a goal to lose 10kg by Christmas day ... From 120kg to 110 ... Seems doable ... iPad app estimates 1450 cals per day, and hoping I really can achieve my initial goal. Then i figure I'll start on the next 10kg. Drinking heaps of water, have cut out morning toast and butter, also no soft drink, other than soda water and fresh lemon ... Have weighed everything within an inch of its life and packed little snack bags with naughty things like smarties and chippies, to the value of 100 calories only, and trying to inly have one naughty snack per day ... So far I've only had one bag of smarties (20 smarties per 100 cals) which I managed to stretch out over the day ... Something totally unheard of a few weeks ago!!! Gotta love those zip lock bags, what a fabulous invention, oh, and a good set of scales, and calorie book of course!!!
Right now I'm struggling with wanting to weight myself every day vs only weighing in once a week ... Not sure what the right thing to do really is, I can see pros and cons for both scenarios ... I figure that if i Weigh myself every day I can monitor it all pretty closely and stay on track, I'm worried that if I wait a whole week between, what if I've really blown it and the that's a whole week wasted ... What advice from others??? Anyway, prob should leave it there for today ... Maybe I'll be game enough to come back tomorrow ... Oh boy I've just realized that when I was last here in April, I've put on weight and now bigger than I was back then by 300 grams, even with having lost my most recent 2.2kg. oh well, an ongoing challenge I think ...
Take care everyone, cheers, fj

[admin]

Welcome Back,
its a step forward and at least you have started to take action. You have spoken a lot about your food intake and what changes you have made however I don't see any activity you are starting ....remember it also comes down to input vs output.
Great to see you are controlling and reducing your habits.....NO SOFT DRINKS.....get your mind and body back into shape by reducing your sugar intake and you will feel a lot better but unfortunately soft drinks are a bad part of our society and are a big cause of health issues. They are ok on an occasional treat but very unnecessary so great to see you are tackling that issue.
Don't drift away and let us know how you are tracking and the changes you have made in the coming weeks.

Good Luck!

Sharrelle

[feebeejay]

Hey, thanks Sharelle,
i'm really going to try to stick to this thing, and i think there is a lot of misinformation out there about what is healthy (and I think the definition of 'healthy' changes depending on whether you are trying to lose weight or trying to maintain) and what isn't - i had a look at the label on a bottle of fruit juice this morning and was surprised to see how many calories are in just one glass of juice (about 130) ... it's crazy how in my lifetime i've done so much reading on this whole issue and lots of experimentation and yes, lost some weight, but still things like that surprise me and it feels so unfair somehow ... I scour my calorie book looking for good foods that are low in calories - because for me right now it's all about the calories. I've been doing this now for just a little over 2 weeks, and am motivated, but haven't really thought about the exercise component yet. I've just moved offices at work and now am upstairs, so that's actually working out pretty well as I'm now having to go up a flight of stairs numerous times a day, which is exercise I wouldn't normally get, so i'm looking at that as a positive, but soon it will become normal and my body will get used to that, so I will need to add something extra. I'm thinking that at this stage, maybe the exercise bike will be a good way to get back into it all, i was telling someone yesterday that I used to ride the exercise bike and measure it in terms of how many jaffa's i'd burned off!! now I don't really eat jaffa's but it's good to have something you can make some connection like that to make it all gel (does that make sense??) a walk around the block at lunch time might be a good idea too ... part of me is afraid of doing anything too drastic because i don't want to shock my body into holding onto those fat stores, and i also dont want to go overboard in the sense that i need to make it realistic. I know it is a lifestyle thing and even though i've done this before I think in my mind i imagined a clear end point ... realistically, there is no end point! I think I will need to do this forever, and i am constantly wondering what 'normal' people do, how much they eat - I remember I read once that Angelina Jolie only eats 1200 calories a day - is that normal for skinny people?? once upon a time, i could never imagine that 1200 calories would be enough, but maybe if you're skinny it is (and I know that comparing real life to celebrity life is pretty unrealistic, but I must admit, I am curious to know what 'normal' is, and what choices other people make ... i could go on forever, but prob should stop there for now ... more research is required I think

[admin]

You need not to worry about what everyone else is doing (it takes too much head space) and focus on what is good for you.
My suggestion is for you to start with a good quality pedometer for your daily office steps then you can measure your movement each day and it might help to push to keep moving the target in the office.
If you start making little changes each day you will be able to chip away at it in no time. Make sure you have calcium intake in the morning, with yoghurt, pick your favorite fruit and have it on the desk mid morn (if it is sitting there you can't ignore it), don't drink ready to buy fruit juice, have a glass of water. Stay away from processed lunch foods which we tend to have as a back up - instant noodles, cup of soups, etc and replace with small portion of leftovers from last night, chicken or egg salad sandwich etc....don't forget you do need your protein which will help you keep feeling full. Have a green or peppermint tea, these help aid your digestion.

It is exhausting but well worth keep chipping away at it. If you make little changes you won't feel too guilty when you have a slip up.

Other will have more advise as well.

have a great week!

Sharrelle

[Metalcharm]

Welcome back and good luck with your changes. It is all do-able and you're going about it the right way.

maybe the exercise bike will be a good way to get back into it all, i was telling someone yesterday that I used to ride the exercise bike and measure it in terms of how many jaffa's i'd burned off!! now I don't really eat jaffa's but it's good to have something you can make some connection like that to make it all gel (does that make sense??)

There was a new app brough out last week by Medi-bank called My Energy. Put in what kind of exercise you did and for how long and it will tell you what you worked off in food. Or it will do visa versa as well .. put in the food and it will tell you what exercise you ahve to do to have worked it off.

[feebeejay]

Hey thanks for all those tips, I'll keep them all in mind, and dig out the pedometer too ...
Didn't really think about cup a soups as being something to stay away from, but I guess it makes me think about how processed everything is ... Cheers fj

[Tea85]

Hi FJ

I just wanted to say good luck xx you are doing a great job:) I've learnt a lot from reading your posts. Like you I hope to be 10kgs lighter by christmas! Keep working hard xx

Tegan <3

[feebeejay]

Thanks Tegan ... Well today was weigh in day, and I've lost 3.2kg in a little over 3 weeks. My app tells me I'm on track for those 10kg by Xmas day, so here's hoping! I had a bit of a blow out day on Saturday, but because I got some extra incidental exercise in, it all sort of worked out. I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself though and although i didnt want to sabotage myself, I chose to eat the jam donut, and didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would, maybe the guilt was too overwhelming! I need to increase my calcium intake though because I'm not really getting enough ... Need to shop for yoghurt! I'm thinking the focus on protein is working ok though, as the nights when I've chosen to just have noodles or pasta, I've noticed that I've wanted something sweet afterwards ... Which leads to more trouble so, trying to keep that balance of protein and carb for lunch and dinner, veg for dinner too, and stay away from ice cream!!!! Argghhhhh, it's such a challenge at times! But noticing results so I'm going to keep at it and cross my fingers for the best ...
Take care, fee

[feebeejay]

Hmm, well today has been challenging ... At least during the week work is so busy I forget about stuffing my face, but Saturday's are another story all together! I have spent the week eating mosty fruit for breakfast, with some days some protein, some days a tub of yoghurt, and still keeping on track with my goal. So because today was the weekend and I didn't have to work, I allowed myself to have toast, which used to be my every day breakfast choice, however I've stopped eating butter or margarine, and replaced it with cheese spread which surprisingly is less calories because it doesn't all melt once it touches the toast! And topped with some shaved ham, and its a very tasty not too 'bad' brekky. Lunch was my downfall however, as I LOVE Hokkien noodles, and can only have them for lunch because they are a high carb option (although I didnt have lunch until abou 3pm), I mixed them with some roast meat, which was really yummy, but afterwards I just had a hankering for ice cream!!! I very rarely eat ice cream but today it was all I could think of. So teamed with a banana, i had a chunk of ice cream that i really should have halved, but i didnt ... Another learning curve! once I'd had all that, I'd pretty much used up all my calorie allowance for the day, but not surprisingly I wasn't really hungry at dinner time, so haven't really had anything for dinner as such ... Now I'm not sure if I should have something small to keep the metabolism going, or just cut my losses (so to speak) and just not have anything else until tomorrow ... Ho hum, it's an every day challenge!!!

[feebeejay]

Well, it's been an interesting week, have just enjoyed a four day weekend thanks to a public holiday on Thursday ... Very nice indeed. But unlike recent times where I've just been lazy doing nothing, each of my last four days have been flat out and productive!! Today I burned a gazillion calories by doing some renovations to our front door for about 8hours ... Stripping off all the paint with the heat gun ... Feeling very productive, but still more to do ... Hopefully we can finish it before the next lot of rain comes!
Anyway, I had a little hic up during the week as my scales broke!!! Not because I was too heavy, but one of the little feet got caught in a tear in our Lino and just clean broke off! So now they say I only weigh 68kg, which would have to be a miracle, but I know it's not right, so doesnt give as much satisfaction as I thought it would! So I had another set of scales in the cupboard and weighed myself the next day and as far as I can work out, they are fairly much the same as the last set, but there's no way of comparing them now anyway, so I only have the new scales to work from. Given the way I fluctuate during the week, it's anyone's guess as to what the real answer is, but if I use the figure from the new scales, over the bigger picture, it will all even out I guess.

I went out yesterday to the royal hobart show, and succumbed to the call of the Dagwood dog, and frozen fanta ... But I've recorded all my calories, and just figure it is only one day out of the rest of my life,and not to be too hard on myself ... Plus I guess I worked it off today for sure with my full day of paint scraping!!!

I'm pretty happy with my progress to date, just a little over 5kg lost in 4 weeks, Wednesday is weigh in day so I guess the weekend story will play out then ...
Cheers, until next time, fj