How do you fill the void?

[Chunkster]

Hi Everyone,

I have been losing weight for about a year now and am about 20kgs lighter than when I was at my heaviest a few years ago. I have reached the point where I no longer have the urge to binge eat cause I know that is just destructive. I understand all the reasons why I have ended up at this point. I accept all that life has handed me.

But my problem is...

I can't seem to find anything in my life that makes me feel as good and happy as eating food does.

It's a problem cause it just means no matter how I try to get that same feeling it always ends with me feeling sad and like a failure cause I can't get that happy feeling again.

I have a wonderful husband and am so grateful for my life. I know that I am a good person and I like who I am. My husband is a great support but I tend to keep my thoughts to myself as I feel it must be a burden on his shoulders sometimes. I always feel guilty for not finding that happy feeling in what I already have...cause I know that has to be the key.

Why does food make you feel so happy and complete?

I know there must be others out there who are feeling the same or who have felt that way and might have some advice for me.

[kate_turner2000]

hey chunkster- i know what you mean. especially when you sit and think about food all day. i often do!! i always feel content after eating and food seems to go with everything doesnt it? we can eat whilst watching tv or a movie, eat at the computer, eat whilst in the car, eat whilst shopping etc etc.

maybe you can start doing a hobby to take your mind off food and how good it makes you feel. having fun and using your mind keeps you occupied and you arent thinking about food- as much! maybe a hobby that incorporates fitness- like tenpin bowling, or getting a dog or something like that.

make a list of the things that are great in your life- not including food. and put ti somewhere you can see it. write down some positive thoughts, quotes and affirmations on some nice cardboard and decorate it- or frame it and put them around your house for you to see.

i dont think when you have had a battle with food that you ever get over it. its always going to be there lurking in your mind- after all we have to eat day to day to live! so you are always going to be around food, it is just time to help make your relationship with food a more positive one

[Chunkster]

Thanks for your reply Kate. I have implemented a few of those points. I have 3 hobbies which I do as much as possible. Having recently moved to the sticks and only working part time I tend to have a bit of spare time to concentrate on my hobbies which is nice. I enjoy spending time with my hobbies and am really grateful that I am in the situation where I can actually have hobbies. But none of them give me that nice feeling.

I don't have the urge to eat the bad foods anymore...to tell you the truth...food just doesn't have that attraction for me anymore...but it's the feeling of "happiness" that it used to give me that I am struggling to try and recreate.

I guess when I type it out like that it actually seems obvious. Maybe I don't need to have that false sense of happiness to be truly happy. It's just having given myself that feeling for 30 years and now not having it...it does create a bit of a void.

I have been saying positive affirmations each day and have a printout on the fridge I designed with a heap of positive phrases that give me a lift. I think I am way better off for it. But that nice feeling is still missing.

I'm proud of myself for losing the weight and know it's gonna stay that way. I guess that was the easy part...now I just gotta sort my head out!!!

[Justjudy]

Hi Chunkster. I know how you feel, because sometimes I feel the same way - and I am a flat out all the time kind of person.
Have you maybe thought of volunteering in your community? It could be a way of meeting new people and give you a feeling of worth. I used to volunteer at my local playgroup, school, and Scouts - in fact anything that my kids were involved with, and it gave me a great deal of satisfaction, and kept me really busy at the same time. If you contact your local council, they may be able to give you some ideas for organisations that could use your skills.

Judy

[Maraver]

I hate to say the "D" word as in depression, but a sign of "D" is in not getting enjoyment out of the things we used to get enjoyment out of like hobbies etc

at least you had the courage to write about it, I go through the same thing from time to time and I have to force myself to think about the positives in my life or at least my hubby does. and then I have a good look at myself and try and cheer up but it is hard

congrats on your 20 kilo weight loss
thanks for posting this because it has made me rellok at myself again because I was slipping down again

Pam

[Aquarian]

I notice your ticker is a musical theme. Do you play an instrument? I started learning the guitar last year due to boredom and the interest in learning an instrument but never had the time. It comes in very handy now as a quick bash on the ghee-tarr and learning a new song helps me get over an unwanted weak moment, and takes the boredom down a notch

[Kadda]

Hi Chunkster,

Is clothes shopping considered a hobby??? Hmmmm....well for me it is! Just think how great it feels when you go shopping and have lost a dress size, or how proud you feel when your jeans are too loose - what great motivation. Every time I think of eating something I shouldn't (ie. CHOCOLATE!), I just remember how uncomfortable I used to feel in my old clothes that were tight and showed all my lumps and bumps, and how much better I feel with my new body shape.