Are you a real loser?

[DD Diva]

Are you a "real loser" this time? Or are you a "yo-yo dieter" back again riding that roller coaster to nowhere (except to maybe heavier than the last time you visited?)
If you think this time is the last time you're going to go through all this effort (and pain) and that goal and maintenance will be yours; then tell us why?
How do you know, and why is it different for you THIS TIME round?

I'll kick off....

I'm a "real loser" (this time) after many years of being the "yo-yo dieter" but no more! This time is different!!!
Why, and how do I know this? Because, along with the change in my weight there's been a drastic change is my attitude.
I don't make excuses anymore.
I don't use (nor even allow myself to think) defeatist comments verbally or in my head.
I am always positive about my progress, even the during weeks where my loss was/is embarrassingly low (eg. 100g).
I'm not looking for acceptance from others anymore, if I get complimented (sure that's always nice and I enjoy it as much as the next person, but) if I don't get a pat on the back I really don't care....this is about ME and how I feel about myself (not what others think about me).
And hey sure, I'm very proud of my achievements but I know I have a long way to go still.
Nevertheless, there is no going back THIS TIME. It is different; I look different, I feel, think and act far more positively about my new lifestyle and the choices I make.
And THAT'S how I know it is a permanent change, one that I will embrace for life, and so I guess that makes me a "real loser"!!!

[tinkerbella]

im a very positive person and a very honest person,
I believe I will always be a yo yo dieter , I think
that's how I will always be ...

if I have been like this for 43 years I honestly cant see it
ever change..

the thing with me at any weight ive always felt
beautiful and sexy and always felt that I still look good.
but the reasons behind me wanting too lose weight is
for my heath and I have felt as ive
got older ive also got slower,so I want too drop the
weight so im not so slow....

maybe I have too blame my husband on my weight as he
hass always had me feeling that im beautiful sexy and
look good at any weight lol...

but yes I believe that I will always be a yoyo dieter..i don't feel im making excuses
I feel im just being honest....

[DD Diva]

Hey Tink,

I think your attitude about your self image is a positive (and healthy one) good for you!!! It is important that no matter what your size (is) to survive in this world you need to love yourself (as much as you do others).

I don't believe that you will always be a yo-yo dieter, I think that anyone can make permanent (and lasting) changes but shedding weight a tough battle, the hardest part actually convincing yourself that THIS TIME IS THE LAST that is, no more going back!!! (if that makes sense).

The way I see it (and I'll gladly stand corrected) weight loss is about mindset first,with food management and exercise (in equal second place). There's no point being disciplined in your eating habits and exercising your butt off, if your heart, soul and mind isn't 100% in on the deal!!!

And yes, definitely HONESTY is (as they say) the best policy. You can lie to your friends and family about your weight, but there ain't no hiding the truth from the mirror!!!

[tinkerbella]

I also believe you have too love yourself,you have too be kind too yourself and when your children see this I feel they grow up feeling that's its ok for them too love themselves also..
When I was a child my mother also had issue with my weight,
my children have grown with no issue about there weight with me always saying they are perfect in every way,
funny thing is ive always stuggled big time with my weight and looking back at photos as a kid there wasn't a F ing thing wrong with me,but always brought up too feel big and fat,
my husband has too take a lot of credit for the way I now feel about myself and too now be able too say what I can say about myself makes me feel so good...

my kids (3) have never ever had any weight issues and I believe that has a lot too do with me and never ever making them feel as if they couldn't eat..with my mum I would sneak food and hide as I always felt I wasn't aloud it,
we can look back on our childhood and start too see where a lot of problems start from....

[DD Diva]

Oh Tink, I'm so sorry to hear about your battles, not just with your weight but your mum's treatment of you because of it. She probably meant well, thinking about your health and all that, but nevertheless, it must have been very hard on you growing up.

I know it's hard when we look back, but being a parent isn't easy (as I'm sure you can appreciate), and we think we're doing the right things but sadly it's not always the case. I have 2 kids of my own, and I know I'm far from the model parent, but (like you) they know I love and accept them unconditionally.

[tinkerbella]

yes Mum always did what she thought was right but looking back as I can now sitting in my warm lounge room I know that part wasn't right...
don't get me wrong my mum and dad have been very good too me but that's something that I feel was very wrong,and seeing what happened I knew I didn't want that being a part of my childrens up bringings....

we live but once and we all make mistakes and ive got plenty more mistakes too make im sure of that,we are a long time dead so I do know its something too get over which I have but its still and always will be a memory.

[DD Diva]

I understand completely, Tink and I'm so glad you (at least now) feel good about yourself.
xx
Diva

[Blitz]

What an interesting and thoughtful thread.

My sister has always been a serial yo yo dieter. I've seen up close her agony over the years with never any lasting success.
As for me...self delusion is the best illusion. When I started to gain weigh around when I was twenty - I just turned a blind eye to it for over thirty years! In those rare moments I did think about losing weight I knew that if I was going to lose weight it would have to be for keeps. I didn't want to live like my sister. Running madly like a hamster in a wheel and getting nowhere.

Probably that is why I delayed it for so long. I wasn't prepared to change my lifestyle. I wasn't prepared to pay the price. It took me years and years before the benefits outweighed the cost. When it does that is when you get honest...get real with yourself (no excuses) and set your mind to change.

Once the mind is set...the rest follows. During my weight loss people would say, "my...you must have great will power". That would always get me angry. The will has nothing to do with it. Will power doesn't last. It's about being sold on the need to change...of developing character...of being who you should have been in the first place. Will power doesn't last - character does.

The secret to my one time go and success at weight loss? I changed my mindset and got real with myself and became the person I should have been in the first place.

Kim

[JP1]

I've been a yo-yo dieter for nearly seven years now and it's about time I kicked this once and for all.. I honestly can't make any promises but I've learnt a lot during my past successes and I just hope this time I can adopt some better practices once I do get to the Maint stage.. One of those as I've explained before is to continue to hang about here and be accountable to myself.. Past failures have been once I have vacated this place and that cannot be a coincidence..

[JP1]

Sorry to hear about your past experiences Natasha.. I only know you from here but you come across as a fun loving family person which I know won't change whatever happens in your weight loss endeavours..

[Blitz]

There are two things that we can choose to do with the examples and experiences our parents give us. To follow them or not to follow them.

As we get older and have kids of our own it is then that we see our parents in a new light as we grapple with raising our own. Often we see the wisdom of the rules they set for us way back then when we were young and knew better than our folks. At other times we make conscious or unconscious decisions not to go down the path that they set for us.

Kim

[Blitz]

I've been a yo-yo dieter for nearly seven years now and it's about time I kicked this once and for all.. I honestly can't make any promises but I've learnt a lot during my past successes and I just hope this time I can adopt some better practices once I do get to the Maint stage.. One of those as I've explained before is to continue to hang about here and be accountable to myself.. Past failures have been once I have vacated this place and that cannot be a coincidence..

There is a lot to be said for accountability. When you stand before others...you better stand straight or someone with call you out!

Kim

[JP1]

I've been a yo-yo dieter for nearly seven years now and it's about time I kicked this once and for all.. I honestly can't make any promises but I've learnt a lot during my past successes and I just hope this time I can adopt some better practices once I do get to the Maint stage.. One of those as I've explained before is to continue to hang about here and be accountable to myself.. Past failures have been once I have vacated this place and that cannot be a coincidence..

There is a lot to be said for accountability. When you stand before others...you better stand straight or someone with call you out!

Kim

I have no problem with this, I'm a straight shooter myself and tell it as it is or at least as I see it..

[tinkerbella]

Im the same JP,nobody is ever left wondering what im feeling or thinking,
im honest and have always said it as I see it....

we all have issues,some are able too see them some try too have them hidden...
I have made mistakes and have made plenty,
im like the next person and im sure in years too
come I too will b told where I have gone wrong,
I can say with all certainty "I have done my very best"
but looking outside the question is,
was my best good enough.......

JP,,,you are right with what you say about me,so I must be coming across with how my persona is,its interesting that we can feel how a person is by what they type..
im passionate , im loving , im naughty and im kind ...
but now if I could just move this bloody weight lol....

[Blitz]

The very fact that we came to this Forum and post about our weight shows that we are all very honest about what we are about.
As JP said elsewhere...it is when he goes missing that we should worry...and I think that is true for all of us. So long as we stand here we remain accountable - not only to the group but also more importantly to ourselves...it is a test of our character and resolve.

Kim