I get annoyed at the lack of support sometimes

[Nay]

Hi, thought I would join this sub forum, its interesting to see that so many people have similar weight loss goals to me.I didn't think I'd see many people who's goal is to be in the 50kg range. Do you find it frustrating that people you know say "you don't need to lose weight" or "you're not fat!!!" It so frustrating!!! I'm losing weight for me, not for them, or anyone else. Why do they roll their eyes when I say i'm trying to eat healthy or i've put on weight and can't fit into my work pants!! It sometimes feels like there's no support out there. Thats why its nice to come here and support one another because we understand!

I don't judge people's goal weights. That's where they want to be to feel confident and happy and probably have been that weight at some stage before in the recent past so it isn't impossible to be that weight again...unless it was when you were 12!!!!

[Cac33]

Everyone has different ideals of weight so just ignore them & do what makes you happy & feels comfortable.

Welcome to the forum & good luck with your goals.

[SarahC]

Welcome! I know exactly what you mean - it's so hard for people to understand what you are going through when you are supposedly so small. Drives me around the twist too sometimes!

[EvilWombatQueen]

I think a lot of it is meant well. The media sends a mixed message in this regard. On the one hand it portrays thin as being the ideal form of beauty (and ultra thin at that), usually in advertising and in celebrity watching. On the other hand it editorialises and claims that this obsession with thinness is bad for women and that we should be happy with who we are. So it's no wonder that when someone who is not obese wants to lose weight the first thought of most people is that they are unhealthily obsessing over their weight and destined for an eating disorder. And since hypocritically society still equates thin = good, by telling you that you're already thin they feel that they are bolstering your self-esteem and being nice.

I get this all the time.

"Oh, you don't need to lose weight"

"Technically I am overweight. I need to lose at least 2 kilos to be in my healthy weight range. And it's the only way to fix my plantar fasciitis. So yes, I need to lose weight."

"Oh..."

On the other hand it can be tiring to hear your 52kg friend complain endlessly about how huuuuuuuge her thighs are. If they're huge what the hell does she classify mine as? I'm happy if she wants to lose a few kilos because she feels better at a lower weight but value laden terms like "fat", "enormous", and "whale" should not be used if you're talking to someone who weighs twenty kilos more than you! Then it's inevitable that someone is going to say "You are NOT fat" and tell you you're fine as you are.

She's stopped referring to herself as fat once a few of us pointed out how unintentionally insulting it was. She still gets people telling her she doesn't need to lose any weight. So now she just patiently explains that she felt better when she weighed a few kilos lighter and she doesn't like where the fat accumulates on her body when she gains weight. If it was distributed evenly she'd be happier, but since she gets saddle-bags she would prefer to keep at a lower weight. This seems to keep people off her back.

[RosieMK]

Probably you're within the upper limits of a normal weight range, and what people are saying is "you look okay, you are not unhealthy". I would rather someone said "but you don't need to lose weight" as opposed to "about time, fatty!". You've got to be happy with your size.

[Kristy89]

I totally agree with you Nay. Even my "best" friends are unsupportive. My first compliment from them was that my boobs had shrunk. And I agree.. When I was at 70kg I was being told I shouldn't lose anymore, or that I'm not fat. But I was considered overweight according to BMI and I didn't feel comfortable with myself and still had a lot of excess fat. I am now at 61.5 and even though I am almost there, I still want to lose that little bit more. I want to be between 56 and 58, as I am quite short. I am currently only just within my normal weight range. I get sick of people saying be careful, dont lose too much or "you dont need to lose anymore" or "why do you want to weigh 58, that will be too skinny" I seriously hate it. And I've often had people warning me to not let it get out of hand, just because im still sticking at it, and ive had people accuse me of doing it the wrong way.. thinking im starving myself or something. And every time my friends want to eat unhealthy or something and I bring along a healthy salad, i feel like theyre looking down on me.

[Samantha Jean]

I'm a bit late, you're probably not around here anymore but I completely understand what you mean.

There should be a thread or something just for people who have small weight loss goals of less than 10kgs. I know there is the almost there section, but that is mostly for people who have already had such a long journey & lost a lot and are heading towards maintenance. I mean people who are still in or just above the healthy weight range but want to lose the excess flab around their bellies, butts & thighs or get back to the nice, toned bodies that they use to have without feeling guilty or completely ridiculous from others.

It's about feeling happy within yourself. Just because you want to lose a few kgs when you're already in the healthy weight range does not mean you are in danger or have some kind of disorder, we're certainly not planning on getting below the healthy range or anything.

[John]

Yeah me too. I'm wondering how I'll be treated when I reach goal at work. I'm thinking that I should keep quiet about it.